when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
