My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
