question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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