even my farts smell like vagina
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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