He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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