Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
