Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
