I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
