Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
