i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
