i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
