Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
