What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
