I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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