Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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