I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
