It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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