so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Everything about him screamed your future.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
