i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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