I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
