the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
