I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
