3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
