I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
