you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
