Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
