im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
