im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
