that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
