Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
