I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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