just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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