u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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