i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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