I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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