Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm always down for nudity.
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