You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
