But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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