The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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