Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
