I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
