called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
