i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
