Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
