Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
