I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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