Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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