I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
