Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
In America we eat man semen.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
