apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
